I believe parents and children should always reach for the stars. It just depends on how you access the solar system. I hate when a teacher or school administrator says, “do you want us to spoon feed the information?" Or “would you want me to give your child a grade he didn’t deserve?” No, I just want my child to have a fair shot. That’s why children are allowed accommodations and modifications. They are designed to make success accessible. Everyone could use accommodations now and then, not just children with special needs. Here are just a few examples:
Given Rachel Ray’s new tv show and very busy schedule, she will be allowed 60 minutes in which to cook a 30-minute meal.
Due to increased competition in the chewing gum industry, Trident will
only need to be recommended by 1 out of 3 dentists as the gum for
their patients who chew gum.
Considering present day awarenss of the harmful effects of stress, now Avis just has to try.
In order to minimize the pain of a recent heartbreak, you will only have to find 46 ways to leave your lover.
Follow your heart; or your liver; but whenever possible, the ice cream truck.
Put your best foot forward, or more importantly, the one that provides the best balance.
Because of Count Dracula’s lifestyle, he will be allowed to attend night school.
Acknowledging John Hancock’s fine motor challenges, all cursive writing will be done on wide ruled notebook paper.
Given the Energizer Bunny’s hyperactivity, frequent motor breaks will be incorporated throughout the school day.
Detective Joe Friday will be tested on the facts, just the facts.
Due to severe allergies, Clark Kent will be excused from science during the lab unit on Kryptonite.
Due to memory issues, Samantha Stevens’ Aunt Clara will be allowed to carry note cards when conjuring spells.
Per doctor’s orders, Mr. Hyde will only be judged academically on days that he is feeling like himself.
The kids on the bus will be given a bus aide to help ensure their safey as they go bump, bump, bump all through the town.
In order to minimize identity issues, Sally the Camel will be put into a classroom with both camels and horses.
Noah will be given a two-by-two instead of the customary one-to-one to meet his unique needs.
Upon reviewing Goldilock’s sensory needs, she will be given a school program that’s just right.
Because of the therapeutic effect animals can have on people, Mary will be allowed to bring her lamb to school one day.
Allowing for Lady Godiva’s political beliefs, she will be excused from the school’s strict dress code.
Given his information processing issue, Alex Trebec will be permitted to answer all test inquiries in the form of a question.
Former vice president Dan Quayle will be allowed to use spell check when writing about vegetables.
Due to a recent diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the Duke of York will only be expected to make it half way up.
In order to promote self-confidence and independence, the Skipper will no longer be allowed to call Gilligan “Little Buddy.”
In order to accommodate Frosty’s needs, his summer school classes will be held inside a walk-in freezer.
Due to a recent injury Harry Houdini will escape from a locked trunk underwater with only one hand tied behind his back.
Sufficient landscaping will be provided so school staff can in fact see the forest through the trees.