A beautiful article came to my attention the other day about Chelsea the companion dog [Download Canine_Help_for Child.doc]. Miraculously, she can sense a seizure before its onset, thus warning her owner and protecting him from harm. I find this unselfish dog’s work tremendously commendable, and the trainers extraordinary. I think there are some days that I need a companion dog, albeit a different kind of companion dog, for myself; one that has unique talents that can be useful when you are a parent of a child with special needs.
For instance, I believe there would be great response to a dog that can sense the onset of a hostile email being sent by the school, seconds before it hits your inbox. In this case, parents might require a dog that bites rather than one that assists.
Similarly, I think parents everywhere would benefit from a dog that telepathically knows when the stressed-out parent is reaching for the chocolate or other edible medication of choice and snatches it gracefully out of a shaking hand moments before it reaches the lips.
The dog could protect the child from hurtful comments by intrusive onlookers in a restaurant or mall, with an aggressive warning. Not scary enough to make the busybody fear for his or her life, just enough to make them pee in their pants.
Let us not forget the dog’s uncanny ability to intercept an unwanted IEP notice for another meeting to discuss awful things about your child. This invaluable technique enables the dog to sense that the notice is coming, to the exact day, so he can respond by chasing the unsuspecting mail carrier down the block, thus cutting him off at the pass. I know it gives a dog a bad rap, but the intention is admirable.
The four-legged savior could also learn to be like the FBI for the FBA. She could be trained to sniff out incorrect data, mercilessly hound the district’s evaluator and subsequently chew up and spit out the incompetent report.
The dog could also learn to do tricks like dig up hidden student records or bury the Special Ed Director in the yard.
If only school districts could behave more like good dogs: loyal, affectionate, useful, and dedicated to service. Instead of like bad dogs making a big mess for others to clean up.