Behavior, behavior, behavior everything is a behavior in the minds of many school people. Sometimes my head could explode trying to explain to school people that if you simply asked some basic questions, you would discover that there are other non-behavioral explanations for actions of students. Failing to ask, everything appears to be a behavior. Here are some prime anecdotes that illustrate the point.
- Sometime ago I represented a 2nd grade student who had anxiety and OCD. He had a great sense of humor but his OCD was making his uptight teacher very on edge. She berated him every time he opened his mouth and said something she considered "weird". By mid-Winter the boy told the teacher "one day you will regret having been so mean to me." The teacher became so concerned with this comment she actually thought about involving the police. Instead, mom came to pick him and took him home. On the way home, she asked what he meant by his comment. The boy’s response was that he was prepared to run away because the teacher had been so mean to him all year. When the teacher would never see him again "she would regret it." Of course no one ever asked what he meant when he uttered those fateful words.
- A High School student consistently refused to see the social worker. The school considered him obstinate and his refusal to be a behavioral issue. When I met with him, he told me that he did not want to go to the social worker because everyone could see him. When I asked him how that was since the sessions were behind closed doors, he explained that there was a window in the door that made privacy impossible. Of course no one asked why he would not go to see the social worker since they had pegged him as a hard and fast behavior problem child; no need to ask any questions.
- A young child with severe graphomotor issues would have a tantrum every day at about the same hour in the morning. His work was not adapted and he had no access to modified scissors or glue. When I asked the staff what event coincided with the episodes their response was "cutting,pasting and gluing;" all activities that were hard given his graphomotor issues. No need to delve into major FBA analysis asking simple questions sufficed. Asking the obvious questions and modifying the materials and expectations even a little bit solved the problem.
- Another High Schooler who was considered "defiant" because he showed up to class with no pen and no paper. A brief discussion with the child and a visit to his locker revealed that his possessions were in such disorder, that retrieving a pen was a daunting task that made bringing a pen practically Mission Impossible. Again, assigning a label of behavior allowed staff to escape asking any additional questions and took them off the hook for further responsibilities for this child.
The lesson in all this is that the next time staff is making snap behavioral judgments at a minimum ask your son or daughter to explain their side of the story; the answers may surprise you.