We all have our own ways of dealing with pain. Grief is a process. For some it is finite, for others ongoing. Here are some of mine.
I’m not much of a party goer or planner, but soon after my son was born,
I decided to throw a huge, glorious party. The biggest, baddest, most
gut-wrenching pity party ever. The menu was going to be anger with a
side of guilt. The attire was sack cloth and ashes. Any rose-colored
glasses were to be left at the door. And of course the entertainment
would bring you to tears.
The invitation read BYOP–Bring Your Own Pain. And anybody who blamed
anybody would be there. The house was decorated with dried-out flowers
and deflated balloons. The music was silent and the atmosphere somber.
The rhythm of panic was the primary beat.
The guest list was full, but only the courageous showed up. I sent an
engraved invitation to my son’s Planned Future, but that invitation got
lost in the mail. Change in Direction came, and as always had so many
interesting things to say. Depression came and went, stopping
frequently at the buffet. Others’ Expectations talked to everyone, I
couldn’t get a word in edgewise. It brought a gift I never liked, but
can’t to this day, seem to get rid of. Loss, as always, came early, and
brought some pictures I reluctantly look at from time to time.
Attainable Dreams, Different Paths and New Options showed up without
being invited, but once they introduced themselves, they became my most
treasured companions, never betraying my trust, even though I have
often misjudged them.
Old friends came, but only the true ones stayed. The others couldn’t
leave fast enough. Some snuck away. Some didn’t see the door hit them
on the way out. Either way, the house seemed fuller without them.
Fear knocked at the door, sometimes softly, sometimes with a bang that
made the house tremble, but Unseen Courage and Support refused to give
him entry. Throughout the night, Pain and Grief tried to evoke
conversation, but Love and Strength refused to let me hear.
Encouragement whispered, so gently, at first it went unnoticed. I
invited Pity, but luckily he had many previous engagements.
Hope showed up…late, but stayed a while and did promise to come
again. I regret not inviting Gratitude but I wasn’t yet ready to make
his acquaintance.
The night got long, I grew weary and the guests moved on. But through
the years, I hosted many small, more intimate parties with Personal
Empowerment, Unconditional Love and Forgiveness as the guests of
honor.
In these last few years, I’ve toyed with throwing a sort of coming out
party for Acceptance, Enlightenment, Inner Strength and New Horizons.
I’ll let you know when. All but Dream Stealers and Toxic Visionaries
are welcome.