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Should Auld Afflictions Be Forgot… — by Lori Miller Fox

Every year at about this time, I think about how my life appears to be different from the lives of most people.   For the first time in a long time, I’d like to focus on the similarities rather than the differences.  So I’ve come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions just like everybody else’s.  However, how I plan on achieving them may set me and Moms like me a bit apart.  Please glean from them what you will, and together we can change the world.

I will eat right – and left and in the middle.

I will exercise more – by increasing my workout from lifting my 13-year-old son in and out of his wheelchair 46 times a day, to knocking on my neighbors’ doors, lifting their grown children, plus a very large cat.

I will be on time for all my appointments – by changing the time of all my appointments.

I will make more time for myself – by still being late to the above appointments.

I will drink less –  by limiting my coffee intake to only six cups a day, relying only on screaming children and sensory music to keep me awake.

I will find happiness within myself – instead of on eBay.

I will lose weight – by eating chocolate only when there is a medical or school crisis, or family emergency–never mind – goal unattainable at this time.

I will volunteer more – for help lines…for blood drives…for homeless shelters… for jury duty…for clinical trials of a new mood altering drug… anything to get away from my own life’s troubles and personal stress.

I will be kinder to people – except for certain school people and those people who “just don’t get it” with whom I am struggling merely to remain civil.

I will save money and get out of debt – by canceling my health insurance, which is giving me insufficient coverage and slowly eating up every penny I have ever earned.

I will hug my children more – and at the same time provide them with the necessary sensory input needed for them to regulate themselves, thus killing two birds with one squeeze.

I will live in the moment – because the hours and days are too overwhelming.

I will read more – even though I comprehend less.

I will clean out my closet – by increasing my pant size.

I will be more decisive – maybe not.

I will enjoy life more – how? I will use magic thinking.

I will be more assertive…

I will be more organized…

I will be a role model in the community…

I will create and inspire…

I will floss…

I will stop believing this baloney and just focus on surviving and doing what’s best for my family.

I will take each day as it comes – because no matter what I do, they just keep coming anyway…

Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy New Year.

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