Now that our son has graduated from Junior High, we can finally say farewell to the sometimes problematic school district that has educated him for the past twelve-plus years and begin anew with High School. And while there were several wonderful one-to-ones, PHIs, more than a few teachers, and even a very fair-minded Special Education Director, who provided real leadership and caring, now that we’re finally finished there have been times that I felt like “I wish we could’ve left sooner.” I dedicate this post to all of the struggling families out there still stuck in unhealthy district relationships and offer some creative ways to make a clean break.
So, like the song says (sort of)…“Get on the schoolbus, Gus. Make a transition plan, Stan. Get your appropriate education free, Lee. And just listen to me…”
The first thing you may want to do is just look the team straight in their eyes and argue “we were never really right for each other.”
Or highlight your incompatibility by claiming “we were simply thrown together by a twist of FAPE.”
If they need a reason, you could be honest and offer “there was no augmentative communication between us.”
If they get huffy you can ask them, “why do you care? You’re hardly ever there — Teacher’s Institute, Inservice, public holidays, maternity leave…”
If they demand more concrete information, you can lay your cards on the table and blurt out “face it, after the first IEP meeting, the trust was gone.”
Or you can mention specifics and tell them, “it’s been over ever since I caught you cheating on my child’s evaluation.”
You can try explaining your side and state, “I feel like you don’t understand a word I’m saying, maybe it’s because you have an unqualified speech therapist.”
Note the irreconcilable differences with the school and declare, “when it comes to educating the children, I have to do everything myself.”
Let them know your frustration and complain “all week long I slave and slave over boring textbooks, relearning subjects I had to learn years ago, and do I get a word of encouragement or acknowledgment? No, all I hear about is what I don’t do.”
If you want to be more neutral and not point out blame, just tell them “the 1, 2, 3, Magic is gone.”
If you’re feeling a little torn, you can explain, “lately, I feel like the only thing between us is a mediation table.”
If you want to skirt around the issue, you can say “I can’t help but shake the feeling that when you’re teaching concepts in the classroom, you’re really just not that into them.”
If you want to be a little more direct, you can announce “I’m tired of faking it, you’re not satisfying my child in the classroom. The private tutor takes them to a higher place — higher education. “
If you must be blunt, cry out “I lied. Grades do matter, kids don’t always fail, and it is a big deal!”
If things get violent, make an excuse, and calmly state “I’m just going out for a pack of Pediasure.”
Once you own your power, proudly declare “I’m a different person now, I have read my Parents’ Rights Manual.”
If things start to get really ugly, don’t worry, just take a step back and utter the following words “have your special education lawyer call my special education lawyer.”
Try to put it all behind you and suggest , “I’m hoping by Junior High School Graduation, this will all have been a bad dream.”
Propose that they “remember the good times — like Christmas Break.”
If all else fails, just be honest and shout “staying together is only hurting the children !”
[And when all else fails, remember to give your 10 day notice of unilateral placement.]