One of the most
difficult things about having a child with special needs can be feeling like no
one understands what you’re going through. Friends, even family, can appear to
be totally “oblivious” to your family’s challenges, as well as their
achievements. I sheepishly admit, I used to get impatient, frustrated, even
angry with those from the “outside world,” until I realized, it’s not that they
don’t care, are disinterested, or unfeeling, we just don’t speak the same
language. So to correct this growing problem that is spreading across our
nation at lightning speed, and to open the lines of communication between
neighbors and friends, even school personnel and parents, I’m compiling a
glossary of special needs terms and their common definitions. Here is
just a sampling. Please, talk amongst yourselves and feel free to add your own
to the growing glossary.
Go check on him, he’s
too quiet – means go in and make sure he’s still breathing.
We’re deciding where
to go on vacation – means we’re researching the cities that have the best
children’s hospitals.
You’ve really grown,
we need to get you something new to wear – means we need to make a trip to the
orthotist.
I’m good thanks –
means I got more than three hours of sleep last night.
I’m an animal lover –
means I can no longer stand the sight of people.
Yes, we are looking
forward to graduation – means I’m going to be at home with my grown child and
eat pizza every day for the rest of my life until one day they’ll find me
buried under a mountain of stale pepperoni and greasy, tomato-stained cardboard
boxes.
He had a good day –
means he stayed awake in school and didn’t hit anybody.
We’re filling out
applications for after graduation – means Medicaid and Dial-a-ride.
I have to go to the
grocery store – means we’re out of applesauce and pudding.
I need to straighten
up – means a therapist is coming.
I’m at the end of my
rope – means she just threw up and I’m out of coffee and the washing machine’s
broken.
I’m very particular
about who I hire as a babysitter – means can she lift?
I’m a terrible parent
– means my child has a disability.
I have a school
meeting – means don’t call me, or email me, or ring my bell for at least three
days while I climb into my very deep hole and comfort myself with chocolate.
I’m so tired of this
cold weather – means his muscles are extremely tight and I can’t pull his arms
through the sleeves of his winter one more day.
I love you and I don’t
know what I’d ever do without you – means if you die before I do, and leave me
to make all the decisions alone, I’ll NEVER forgive you – so watch your
cholesterol Buddy, or I’ll watch it for you!
He is a picky little
eater – means he’ll only eat foods he won’t choke on.
I’m coping – means I
have two bags of Hershey’s Kisses in the cabinet and a cheesecake in the
freezer.
I regretfully decline
the kind invitation to your Tupperware Party – means if you think I have the
time or even the desire to seriously think about food storage, you must be
living in some alternate universe called “Oblivious.”
I’m watching my
weight – means watching it go up and up and up.
You must be a new
Medical Resident – means his name’s not Buddy, and I’m not your Mom and he’s
not your Dad ***hole.
Excuse me, do I know
you? – means get your hands off my kid!
I’m behind schedule –
means I haven’t given her her meds yet.
We’re eating
healthier now – means we’ve switched to dark chocolate.
IEP — means I
Experience Pain.
I’m writing a blog
piece – means somebody really pissed me off!